Happy Hump Day! We are continuing our Patient Parenting series with part 3: Avoiding Negative Statements. If you’ve missed the last two you, can check them out here:
Have you found yourself to be quite cranky lately? I know I have..Especially when I’m extra tired. I end up taking things out on my spouse, or snapping at my son when I should not be. I need to stop and catch myself before my son acquires this bad habit.
The term “Terrible Two’s”, do you believe it’s real or just made up? Are our children really going through their terrible two’s, three’s or even four’s? To me, I feel that whatever we label our children is who they will sought out to be. For example, I feel that the more I excuse my son from his actions and tell other’s that he’s just going through his “terrible two’s” , while he’s throwing a tantrum, the more “terrible” his actions may seem. However, if someone were to tell me, “he’s going through his terrible two’s isn’t he?”, while my son is throwing a fit, and in return, I reply, “no, he’s just very spirited and knows what he wants”, then I see the more optimistic and good things about my child. Thus, the less “terrible” his actions may seem. Does this make any sense?
What I’m trying to get at is, no matter how naughty our children can act, making negative statements and/or excuses about our children to others really allows us to believe our children are really that way. However, if we:
1) alter our thinking
2) avoid negative statements
3) enhance the strengths our children have and remind them of those strengths throughout the day….
Then the more positive and well -behaved their actions will be.
I’m not trying to say that I am one of those moms who’s oblivious to my child’s actions, and justifies it when he misbehaves. When he does misbehave in public, I continue positively discipling him. (Taking a breath and calmly speaking to him). However, I will not turn around to a friend, relative, or a stranger and say “He’s just going through his terrible two’s”. Instead, I don’t say anything at all. He’s my child and my business, not theirs.
If he misbehaves at home, saying “Why can’t you be like your cousin?” or “Why are you being a brat?”, are both very negative statements. Therefore, I try saying:
“Please play nice”
“You are very good at sharing, can we please keep sharing with our friends?”
“You have an excellent voice, but, can we please use our inside voice?”
Just a few examples of what I try with my son. I am not a perfect parent, and I am still learning to practice patience everyday. Some days I fail, but most days I do my best. What about you? How do you avoid negative statements? How do you turn a terrible situation, terrific? Comment below! I’d love to hear 🙂
Have a great Wednesday! 2 more weeks til Christmas, YAYY!!