Patient Parenting: Apologizing (5/5)

This is the last part of the Patient Parenting series. It’s quite fitting because since is the last day of the year and we’re going onto a new year. Which means, we can have a fresh new start. If you feel as if you’ve been hard on your child the past year, or even hard on yourself, that’s alright. Tomorrow is a new day, and a new year! 
I’m going to be honest and say that whenever I discipline my son and raise my voice, I feel like absolute crap. I feel so horrible and like a really big jerk. I hate the feeling and my husband has to put me on check to remind me of my attitude. 
One of the greatest aspects of our children is that they forgive us, and still love us unconditionally.  The way we raise our voices on our children is so unacceptable to others. We can never raise our voice to strangers, relatives, colleagues, and our parents without consequences. To teach our children how to apologize to others, we must also do the same. We must set aside our pride, and apologize to our children when we do something wrong, such as yelling at them. 
The times that I raised my voice, leaving my son crying, and me feeling like a B word, I knew what I had to do, pick my battles and apologize. Apologizing doesn’t mean giving in to your child. It means you’re ready to start again and give each other a second chance. When apologizing to children you may say, “I was wrong for what I did, and I’m sorry.” That’s it, period. No other excuses such as, “I’m sorry, but if you hadn’t done that…” That is not an apology. 
Let’s start the new year fresh, and not stress the little things too much. You know that saying by Mahatma Gandhi, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”? Well, in the case of parenting, we must be the change we wish to see in our children. 
Have a Happy and Prosperous New Year! 
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7 thoughts on “Patient Parenting: Apologizing (5/5)

  1. Twisted Mommy says:

    Many parents feel that they dont have to apologize to their kids, I am not one of those parents. Just like you I feel awful when I yell at my daughter or have to take a toy or something away as punishment. It sucks, even when it needs to be done. I always apologize to her for yelling and explain why she got in trouble and how we can avoid that situation later on. It has rubbed off because when she does something she will apologize and we'll talk about it. She is only 3 so the convos arent real deep but it shows she understands she did something wrong and wants to fix it. This was a great post!

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  2. Kim Seghers says:

    Love reading your blog and all your very informative and meaningful posts you write. Kids learn from their parents and, I want my son to know when a person is wrong they should apologize so, I teach him by being an example when I feel I have done something to my child that warrants an apology I apologize!

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  3. Mel - Melly Moments says:

    Great post!!! The line that I resonated with the most is, To teach our children how to apologize to others, we must also do the same.” I couuldn't agree with you more. So much of the time we allow our pride get in the way of making the right choice. We allow power and authority to overtake, but forget to realize that our children learn directly from our behaviors. If we want them to grow up to be empathetic, forgiving, and kids with great character….we need to set the example as early on as we can. We need our kids to see we are human and make mistakes, too! Thanks for sharing 🙂

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  4. Sydney Andersen says:

    This is such a great reminder. I fall guilty all the time of saying “I'm sorry I yelled at you but if you hadn't…” I need to stop that right now. It breaks my heart when I make one of my boys cry and I know they are only going to want 100% of my attention and want to cuddle and play with me for a little while so I should enjoy the time I have with them. Thanks for the great reminder

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  5. Christy E says:

    I believe in apologies. I make mistakes all the time. I raised my voice about my daughter messing up her hair on the way out the door the other day. I felt awful about it later and apologized. I still feel badly. 😦

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